The 13th boy
A Memoir of Education and Abuse
A MEMOIR
(Cune Press)
When parents send their children to school, they are trusting teachers and administrators with their most precious treasure. Sad to say, that trust is betrayed all too often. What can we say when a well-known, elite and very expensive private schools promise an education that sharpens the mind, strengthens the body, and uplifts the soul--only to afflict some students with regret, pain, and shame that can last a lifetime or even drive a student to suicide?
Stephen Fife has written a compelling, soul-baring narrative of his experience of education and abuse at the prestigious Horace Mann School in New York City. He also provides practical advice to parents who wish to protect their children and to recognize the signs of disturbance when abuse may be taking place.
The sad truth is that every secondary school in the country, at least to some degree, presents a risk of teacher-student abuse. We need to have the courage to encourage our children to leave the family nest. Yet we also need to exercise due diligence, to recognize the warning signs when our children are in trouble, and to understand situations that are structured in such a way that a tragic outcome is all too likely.
Stephen Fife's story stimulates thought and pulls at the heart. And yet it also provides practical wisdom that will be of immeasurable help to concerned parents.
Pages from the People article specifically about Stephen.
FROM AN ARTICLE IN THE WALL STREET JOURNAL:
The alleged sexual abuse at Horace Mann was more widespread than initially described, according to an investigation of the elite Bronx private school by a nonprofit group founded by alumni to address the scandal.
The report identifies more than 60 former students who allegedly were abused from the 1960s through the 1990s by 22 school employees. The report, compiled by the Horace Mann Action Coalition, was expected to be released Wednesday.
The number of alleged victims are more than double the 25 cited in a 2013 report by the Bronx district attorney’s office. The office also found 12 alleged perpetrators.
The report’s lead investigator was Leslie Crocker Snyder, a former sex-crimes prosecutor in the Manhattan district attorney’s office who expressed disappointment that Horace Mann officials declined to participate or provide access to documents.
“To me the report is important because people should know how horrible things could be,” Ms. Snyder said. “But what’s really important is how do we move forward.”
“There was this widespread assumption that if you put your child in a private school that they were in safer space,” said Marci Hamilton, a professor at Benjamin N. Cardozo law school at Yeshiva University who specializes in sexual-abuse cases and consulted on the report. “Just like all the rest of the assumptions that we’ve had about child sex abuse—that it’s rare, that it doesn’t have long-term effects—all of these myths about child sex abuse have been blown out of the water.”
NOTE: This review is by Kevin Mulhearn, the foremost attorney in the US representing groups of abused kids and teens. I don’t know him personally but deeply respect his pursuit of justice.
MORE REVIEWS:
“5.0 out of 5 stars that schools and administrators which deny any real and meaningful justice to victims and cover up their own complicity.” September 30, 2014 – By Kevin Thomas (Orangeburg, NY) A verified Amazon purchaser.
“Stephen Fife's The 13th Boy is a powerful and eloquent memoir which bravely but delicately delves into many sensitive, if not taboo, subjects: the vulnerability of adolescents to charismatic adults who exploit their youthful search for distinct identities by constantly telling them that they are ‘special,’ ‘great,’ or blessed with ‘genius,’ the all-too-frequent and mind-boggling enabling of sexual predators by otherwise responsible and decent educators, the ongoing fight for survivors of sexual abuse to maintain a sense of confidence and establish their true identities after their childhood innocence has been savagely ripped from them, and the continuous battle for sex abuse survivors to find a reason to continue to live (and love) in the wake of these vicious assaults on their bodies and souls. Stephen Fife demonstrates with his detailed account of his own harrowing journey that these issues are as timely now as they ever have been, that schools and administrators which deny any real and meaningful justice to victims and cover up their own complicity in the sexual assaults of their students cannot in good faith proceed in educating our children as if their crimes against humanity never happened, and that it is a daily outrage (fueled by cowardly legislators and judges) to permit perpetrators (i.e., child rapists) and cover-up artists (i.e., those who let known child rapists have unfettered access to unsuspecting children) to escape accountability by hiding behind absurd and antiquated statutes of limitation. Stephen Fife reminds us that this issue for all too many is truly a matter of life and death. I am grateful that the author was able to fend off his demons and write this book. It should be required reading for every single legislator and judge in New York State. Parents, too, would do well to read this book.
Mother Jones once famously stated her personal motto: ‘Pray for the dead, but fight like hell for the living.’ Stephen Fife manages to do both at the same time with this remarkable, brave, and extraordinarily insightful book. I wish him all the best as he continues to heal and helps others to heal. He deserves nothing less.
As to the masses, and especially legislators and judges, get your heads out of the sand (I'm being polite and passing up a more apropos rhyme), and start being part of the solution instead of the problem. There is work to be done. Valuable work that will both help and honor those whose lives were derailed by sexual predators and those who were unable to cope and are no longer with us. Lend your voices to those who can no longer speak for themselves and who are dead before their time only because they had the misfortune of going to a school where a child rapist was given carte blanche to pick his prey at will. Fight like hell to help the innocent and oppressed and punish the evildoers (many of whom, perversely, live comfortable lives thinking that they are beyond the reach of the law). That is not only your job; it is your duty.
But don't just listen to me. Read The 13th Boy! And, for all that is good and holy, do something! It is long, long, long overdue.
Thank you, Stephen Fife. And bless you for your courage in writing this book.
– Kevin Thomas Mulhearn
“Steve Fife’s The 13th Boy is a rigorously honest portrait that explores the troubling and insidious nature of abuse of students by teachers.” – Marc Fisher, Senior Editor at The Washington Post